twitter facebook instagram youtube

**

I never thought how many angels could fit on the head of a needle that was important, but rather how one could fit in me.

**
Words have power: A man who says he has no luck has just discovered the source of his unluckiness.

**
If you want your business to be geriatric, take a bunch of little steps.

**
People hate those who speak with their mouth full, but seem to love those who speak with their head empty.

**
When you stare into a person’s eyes you can see they’re not whole.

**
Those who worry about the number of angels on the head of a needle, should worry more about the one devil in their heart.

**
If you speak non-sense, you are a mystic.

**
Lazy people make crazy people. (regarding lazy coworkers)

**
Speak only when chosen to.

**
The worst thing a man can do is to say that which is better left unheard.

**
I’ve watched nearly everyone I know die – that’s why I refuse to get to know myself.

**
In the heat of the night people are actually coldest to each other.
Casual sex is mutually agreed upon abuse.

**
A loss of love is like a loss of teeth, makes it hard to smile.

**
Oscar Wilde said ‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken,’ but in your case, a better motto may be, ‘Do yourself, no one else wants to.’

**
Sell your soul to God – He pays better.

**
A joy that comes from nowhere will make you see joy everywhere.

**
Nothing in this world is kept from the man who is ready to leave everything in this world.

**
To master the universe, give up being a master as well as a slave of the universe.

**
The light is the same at the end of the tunnel and at the front, why turn around and go back?

**

A cat has nine lives -and not in one does it show any evolution of compassion. 

**

McCain didn’t run for office, he walked

**

Mobster saying:

One man’s trunk is another man’s coffin

**

If you don’t get it, then get.

**

If you follow the thread of thought you will find a knot.

**

I don’t need my enemies to burn in hell, but a nice dry mouth all the time – that’d make me pretty content.

**

When it’s raining outside I prefer to stay inside and not take the chance of dancing.

**

I am most scared a good haircut – then you gotta live up to it. 

**

I always read the sports section just in case something important happened in the world, you know?

**

Everyone literally starts near a bottom.

**

When it comes to public speaking, it is better to lie down and take it rather than stand up and give it.

**

Having a kind thought is like having fresh flowers in the room you spend the most time in.

**

A mental block often turns into a sprawling city of dumb.

**

Memories are memories too.

**

Sometimes a man drowns because he has no love to drown in.

**

A naked woman can never be a shrink.

More PC: A beautiful woman can never be a shrink.

**

A dog chases his tail, a human his tale.

**

Mathematics presents numerous problems for me.

**

A person who thinks life is meaningless has found the meaning of life

**

Monogamy, it happens to the best of us.

**

To borrow money is to lend yourself to stress.

**

A good joke lasts longer if short.

**

I have never seen anyone die from death – that’s too late. You can’t die from death.

**

Happiness is the way to happiness.

**

A good cynic doesn’t believe in goodness.

**

Don’t fall into the trap of not building a trap.

**

Christ saved men, Osiris did not.

**

To get what you want, want only nothing.

**

May want a sound sleep, I prefer soundless.

**

If you have lost your way, at least you have found that you are lost.

**

If the weight of the world is on your shoulders, it’s because you have nothing solid to stand on.

**

If you find yourself in the dark, to take yourself lightly.

**

To carry a good attitude in the rain is more important than an umbrella.

**

I could live forever, but the day to day really gets to you.

**

Sleep: the one thing no man can do without save the jealous man.

**

Manual labor is what keeps a man honest before the wages force him to cheat on his taxes.

**

Dogs prove dirty and smelly are often the most worthy of loved.

**

Vacations are usually ways to worry in the sun. 

**

Every man who works eight hours a day is either a fool or enjoys paying bills – I am neither, thus I work much longer hours.

**

If you do not work, you are broke.

**

Nice weather is a but a storm in denial – the world is forever wet and cold.

**

For art’s sake, let us hope reincarnation is real – or the earth has lost a very good friend forever.

**

Art today is said to be but ideas – we could just call them ass ideas.

**

Tyranny is the highest form of government for people who think holy books are political manuals.

**

The beauty of a person fades away in the instant they utter “I.”

**

The death of an enemy is often the death of a meaning.

**

Pick up where you left off – for starting over will lead back to where you left off.

**

I always skip the basics of religion – to get the basics is to miss the essence.

**

I can never talk of a good book enough – unless it’s a bad book.

**

There is a lot to be said for being healthy – but only while one is sick.

**

As an old man I plan to die of young age.

**
The last thing some will ever do for fun is have it.

**
Those who dig up dirt, dig their own grave.

**
Feeling is to thinking as chocolate is to broccoli – this is why society is always on the cusp of ruin,

**

A beautiful woman has a tough life – an ugly woman a tragic one.

**

Europe is a continent enthralled with itself for not being America.

**

A man desperate enough to kill, is one who may be excited enough to live.

**

For me, a weekly paycheck is about as useful as a weekly bath – its effects last only about twenty four hours.

**

If Shakespeare makes me feel inadequate as a writer, imagine what would an angel do for my sense of goodness!

**

Love is the crucifixion of one’s nerves – on a daily basis.

**

Enemies tell each other the truth, real friendships can only endure in the name of dishonesty.

**

They say happiness is a lost art – but have you seen the condition of art lately? Maybe it absconded.

**

The fall from grace can have no bottom. But one certainly can rise to the top and stop.

**

Sports shows the potential grace of human beings and is also a good study in the origins of war.

**

An ugly face is like a lost child – no one really wants it but you have to accept it as God’s will.

**

I’m all for a Salem Bitch trials. (goes for men as well) 

**

Life can be blissful – if you have found the trick to enjoying pain.

**

Why is it that Adam was given dominion over all the animals but not the animal of himself?

**

Odd thing, sex, the one thing that complicates life to unbearable dimensions, at once prevents our death.

**

I must live as if it were the last thing I’d do before I die.

**

For most of you, don’t be yourself, it is better to copy a working machine than love the clunker.

**

My intents are always pure, then again so are my sins.

**

All boring people are alike in one way, every way.

**

Freud screws you one way or your mother.

**

One should never feel either on balance or off balance at all times, one needs a balance of both.

**

There is a time for all things – except exercise.

**

Man #1: “You’re the only man I know who gets angry when made to laugh.”

#2: “If anything strikes me I strike back with equal and opposite force.”

**

Artistic drives are like drives for sex – they arise quickly, create intense excitement, then leave one pondering if it was all worth it.

**

For many there is something to be said for believing in nothing – for it’s the same as believing in themselves.

**

As a comedian once said to me, “Being funny isn’t about being smart, it’s about being stupid at the right time.” To which I replied, “That wasn’t funny.”

**

There is nothing wrong with having multiple women – if you know when to add and subtract.

**

Conceptual art is the data entry of the art world.

**

Saying, “I hope I die” is the best way to ensure a long life.

**

Misery doesn’t love company, it is a company which services the needy.

**

Bliss can be found in one thing and one thing only – existence. Sadly, so can torment.

**

The job of a writer is to say in words what is usually private idiocy.

**

The life of the writer is not isolation but rather insolvency.

**

Social media is the devolution of the media and society – most combinations are as such.

**

The anxiety of life is not time, but timelessness – the former we can fathom, the latter we cannot.

**
I love living in the city; the wild life.